Category: Blog

Seeing how the members of my team, a mix of senior executives and people that had joined me straight out of school, had grown into strong entrepreneurial leaders over the years was the most rewarding part of my journey.

Second, I realized that when entrepreneurial leaders are values-driven, they have the capacity to make a uniquely positive impact on the world with the businesses they build. (The opposite is true as well. When leaders do not have strong values, they have the capacity to cause great harm.)

Mercenaries vs. Missionaries

Another way to explain this difference between striving and calling is with a mercenaries vs. missionaries frame — a distinction popularized by VC John Doerr.

“Mercenaries are driven by paranoia; missionaries are driven by passion; mercenaries think opportunistically; missionaries think strategically,” said Doerr. “Mercenaries go for the sprint; missionaries go for the marathon. Mercenaries focus on their competitors and financial statements; missionaries focus on their customers and value statements. Mercenaries are bosses of wolf packs; missionaries are mentors or coaches of teams. Mercenaries worry about entitlements; missionaries are obsessed with making a contribution. Mercenaries are motivated by the lust for making money; missionaries, while recognizing the importance of money, are fundamentally driven by the desire to make meaning.”

A Calling Unique To You

Everyone can have a unique calling. Some leaders have a moment of epiphany and others have a growing sense of calling throughout their life. So don’t put immense pressure on yourself to “find it”. Often the calling will need to find you.

This calling will be rooted in your worldview and could be anchored in a belief about what the world needs, a social cause, a moral philosophy, or even a spiritual encounter. Whatever it is, it needs to be other-centred versus self-centred, you need to believe in it, and you must care deeply about it. It needs to affect your heart as much as or more than it affects your mind.

Many people have changed the world through pursuing a calling, but there are two people that stood out for me.

The Calling of William Wilberforce

The first is William Wilberforce, the British politician who led the movement to abolish slavery in the U.K. in the 1800s. What initially led Wilberforce to Parliament and drove him in his political career wasn’t fighting for justice or equality, it was striving. “I did nothing to any good purpose,” he said, “My own distinction was my object.” He could have continued down this path, potentially seeking higher office, but that need for attention and external validation wouldn’t have sustained him in his mission to end the slave trade. Abolition took decades, and Wilberforce was hated throughout England and physically attacked by slave traders. He needed his work to be driven by a calling, which for him became the liberty of the oppressed. 

Reorienting himself enabled him to accomplish something that didn’t appear possible.

“So enormous, so dreadful, so irremediable did the Trade’s wickedness appear that my own mind was completely made up for Abolition,” Wilberforce told the House of Commons in 1787. “Let the consequences be what they would, I from this time determined that I would never rest until I had effected its abolition.”

It took fifty highly uncertain years, with a growing coalition of participants, to accomplish this massive project, and the Slavery Abolition Act was passed in 1833; Willberforce, released from the weight of his calling, died a few days later.

The Calling of Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

My second example only understood his calling in hindsight. Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, Nobel Prize-winning author of the Gulag Archipelago, was so driven to record the horrors he experienced in Soviet Union labour camps that he risked his and his family’s lives and diligently committed thousands of lines to memory amid hunger and exhaustion. He shut out of his mind the possibility of his work being published in his lifetime and was driven instead by a duty to tell the stories of the millions who had suffered alongside him. He didn’t know his book would be read by tens of millions of people across the world and play a part in the fall of the Soviet Union.

“I felt as though I was about to fill a space in the world that was meant for me and had long awaited me,” he said, “A mold, as it were, made for me alone, but discerned by me only this very moment. I was a molten substance, impatient, invariably impatient, to pour into my mould, to fill it full, without air bubbles or crack, before I cooled and stiffened.”

So callings come in many forms. They can be clear from the outset or obscured for decades up until the point that they’re fulfilled. Also, they are unique to each person. While you can’t choose exactly when and how yours forms, you can attempt to understand the meaning behind your work through awareness. I’m convinced that we grow at the pace of reflection.

Questions for My Younger Self

If I could coach my younger self on this journey, I would offer him these questions:

What practices of reflection do you have?

Who are your heroes? Who do you want to be like when you grow up?

What is more important? What you are building, or who you are becoming?

What is motivating you? Who told you that was important?

What does a good life look like? Why do you think that is the case?

What do you want in life? Why? Who convinced you that was important?

What do you want to leave as your legacy?

What are your values? How does that make you different from the people around you?

What behaviors will allow you to live your values in work, your family life, etc.?

Rather than requiring crucible experiences to force me to face these questions, I could have begun the transition from striving to calling much earlier if I had considered these questions when I was younger.

From Striving To Calling

Surrender

Ultimately, our movement from striving to calling is dependent on our willingness to surrender to something greater than ourselves. To have the scales drop from our eyes and discover the mimetic illusion of our first desires. And from there, to grow into a deeper, bolder, and more noble calling for the benefit of others. These “I was made for this” moments are a form of worship.

This truth was captured well by the late David Foster Wallace:

“Because here’s something else that’s weird but true: in the day-to-day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship.”

Transformation Towards Joy

The path of calling is more challenging and will require all the skills and capabilities and self-knowledge you have gained in the previous stages. But in the end, you are a different kind of person.

Here are just a few of the transitions that can occur as you grow into your calling:

From anxiety in self-reliance to peace in a stable identity

From distress in the storm to rest in the storm

From temporal gratification to creating a legacy

From the death grip of control to wisdom and courage

From fleeting happiness of success to joy in the journey

The greatest reward on this path from Striving to Calling is that rather than mere happiness, we can arrive at a place of deep joy.

Miroslav Volf, a professor at Yale, has made studying joy his specialty, and he concludes that joy is the crown of a well-lived life:

“Joy is not merely external to the good life, a mint leaf on the cake’s whipped cream. Rather, the good life expresses and manifests itself in joy. Joy is the emotional dimension of life that goes well, and that is led well.”

At our venture studio, we are looking to co-create new technology businesses with values-driven entrepreneurs.  Learn more about our venture studio co-founding process.

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— by Peter Demos

Last month, we watched the Asbury revival go viral and the “Jesus Revolution” film hit the silver screen. Both events are an awesome reminder of the creative and powerful ways that God moves. He’s moving across university campuses, in hurting nations like Iran, and even in Hollywood, California. 

Personally, I am waiting for the next great move of God that will take place in cubicles and boardrooms instead of church pews and sanctuaries. Consider this — most Christians across the world are not called to work in full-time vocational ministry. They’re not preaching on Sundays or hosting evangelistic outreach events. Most Christ-followers are called to the marketplace. And so many people are seeking answers on how to put God at the center of their businesses.

The late evangelist Billy Graham said, “I believe one of the next great moves of God will happen through the believers in the workplace.” For years, Christians have sought to evangelize a largely unreached people in “the 10/40 Window” – the area of land between the 10th and 40th parallel north of the Equator, spanning from Africa through east Asia. But there’s another window sitting wide open for Christians to introduce people to Jesus, referred to by some as “the 9 to 5 window.” 

It took me a long time to surrender my life to God and discover my purpose within this window. Now that I see my restaurant business through His eyes, I approach it differently. I’ve learned a lot since God transformed my life, the bulk of which falls into three key truths. 

1. Surrendering control is everything 

I’ve been in the restaurant industry for most of my life, engaging with people of all backgrounds, managing teams and casting vision. Fully due to God’s grace, I oversee multiple, successful dining concepts, I have a wonderful wife and two amazing kids. For many years, on the outside, my life looked perfect. But what the pictures in social media and in the pages of lifestyle magazines did not reveal is that I wasn’t operating from a place of confidence and security. God wasn’t at the center of my business, but rather, I was driven by fear, anger and emptiness. 

Food service is in my veins. I entered the industry at age 12, washing dishes at my dad’s Western Sizzlin’ restaurant. As the family business expanded, it afforded me the opportunity to learn every possible aspect of the organization. By the time I was a young adult, I had absorbed a lot of restaurant industry know-how and even obtained a law degree, yet there was another area of my life in which I was too stubborn to learn anything at all. 

My parents took me to church every Sunday. When I say they “took me,” what I really mean is they “made me go.” It wasn’t until I became a husband and father that I truly surrendered my life to Christ and sought to put God at the center of my business. Before then, I was desperate to control every area of my life. If I couldn’t effectively control a person or circumstance to my satisfaction, no one in my path would be safe from the wrath of my emotions. 

I’ve since learned the root of my need to control was fear. I was afraid to trust anything other than my own two hands. So afraid that my wife would leave me, I nearly suffocated her with jealousy and controlling behavior. So afraid that my business would fail, I worked around the clock until it became my idol. I was a walking ball of fear, which manifested as uncontrollable anger. But the minute I relinquished control, I finally felt a peace I never knew was possible and it changed everything. 

2. God’s plans are the best plans 

When we launched a new restaurant a few years ago, running it was incredibly challenging and the source of some of my biggest business failures. When you open a new dining concept, you budget for a loss in the first year. Our venture had so many unforeseen obstacles that we met that budget two months into it.  

Dedicating my life to God didn’t take away my problems, but it taught me how to handle them. My earliest prayers were along the lines of, “Here’s my agenda, God. Bless it.” I’ve since learned that it should be the opposite. “What’s your agenda, God? Use me.” 

Learning to trust God to lead me through significant difficulties has turned out to be the greatest source of growth and blessing in my life. While I’m a work-in-progress and always will be, I finally understand that submitting my goals and dreams to Him and inviting Him to take control is the best way to enjoy peace and be a witness to others. 

3. The anointing of God isn’t reserved for the pulpit 

We tend to elevate those who serve in full-time ministry, believing they’re the ones who will change this world. But the next great revival may pour out of the anointed men and women who are making a difference in the marketplace. 

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Competence in Business: The First Trait of a Great Car Salesman

In a later conversation, I found out that Tim is a person of faith, which made me all the more excited. I asked his permission to share this story with you as I believe it exemplifies the kind of competence followers of Christ should display – whatever their profession. He more than happily obliged.

Someone once said, “Your greatest contribution to the kingdom in your work is to be competent.”

Dorothy Sayers similarly referenced the importance of a Christian’s competence (with an obvious reference to Jesus’ profession as a carpenter, most of His adult life), “The Church’s approach to an intelligent carpenter is usually confined to moral instruction and church attendance. What the Church should be telling him is this: that the very first demand that His religion makes upon Him is that He should make good tables.”

Tim’s job involves customer service, and competence means being able to showcase cars accurately, speak with customers professionally, and respond to questions in a timely manner. Tim did his job well, and I respected him for it.

Integrity of Character: The Second Trait of a Great Car Salesman

Tim could have made the flashiest video ever and responded to every question immediately, but it wouldn’t have mattered had he been dishonest. This is especially true of faith-driven business people who claim to follow the Word of God.   

If I had ended up buying the SUV from Tim, and it had turned out to be a lemon, and he had known it, I would have been repulsed by any mention he made of Christ, the Bible, or church. I’m so disappointed when I hear about the unfortunate experiences of those who have been burned by professing believers in business.

Therefore, great business people (car salesmen and otherwise) should have impeccable competence and integrity. In our technologically advanced, success-driven culture, you can’t have one or the other. High competence is a must for Christians in the workplace. If we can get that right, and match it with a high character component and a gentle courage to converse with others about the hope that is within us (1 Peter 3:15), that would be a compelling triad that would be hard for anyone far from God to ignore.

The Prophet Daniel Was an Excellent Example

Daniel was a perfect example of someone who was both competent and full of integrity. When an all-out witch hunt was carried out to expose dirt on his character and competence, look what God’s inspired Word says about him, “They could find no corruption in him because he was trustworthy and neither corrupt or negligent.” (Daniel 6:4b)

Further, who did King Belshazzar turn to when all of his “wise” men could not interpret the mysterious writing on the wall that suddenly appeared by an invisible hand? Daniel. Why? Because he was found as someone who had a…

“…keen mind and knowledge and understanding, and also the ability to interpret dreams, explain riddles and solve difficult problems…” (Daniel 5:12b)

No wonder Daniel remained a go-to guy with irresistible, culture-changing influence and leadership for over 40 years even through the transition of 3 powerful pagan kingships!

Car Salesman, Baker, Tech Founder, Business Coach – Whatever You Do, Do it Competently and with Integrity

By this point, it should be obvious that this advice doesn’t just apply to how to be a great car salesman. Everyone should embrace competency and integrity. We are called to glorify God in all we do, and that includes our work. 

Oh, how we need more heroic, competent, problem-solving, culture-changing Christ-followers in the workplace, business, and churches today! Will you dare to be a Tim? Will you dare to be a Daniel?

I am so grateful for Tims, for Daniels, and for those like you whom I have the privilege of serving through Kingdom Way Ministries. May we continue delighting our customers and showing them glimpses of God’s love through business.

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— by Juli Wenger

How entrepreneurs can live with open hearts, open arms, and open hands

Every entrepreneur is custom-created for a purpose. In Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, he tells his readers that God “creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join Him in the work He does, the good work He has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing” (Eph 2:10 MSG). 

Paul doesn’t leave it at that. He then tells them to “get out there and walk – better yet, run! – on the road God called you to travel” (Eph 4:1 MSG). How, though, in a world so full of noise and distraction, and with our broken humanity so prone to following our will and succumbing to fear, do we go about staying on (or getting on – let’s be honest) the road we’re called to travel? How can we approach getting in position so God can use us for the work he has for us to do? 

God can use you. But sometimes, we need to examine ourselves before we see progress in the area of calling.

How My Professional Journey Challenged My Posture Toward God

I’ve been on my own journey of healthy postures toward God. In business, I’ve had to resist an overattachment to busyness, achievement, external validation, and a driving need to prove that I am somehow spectacular. After years of entrepreneurship, I carry deeply ingrained patterns, habits, and ways of thinking. And because you’re reading this, it’s likely that you see those patterns in your own experience. Consider this your invitation to actively step out of your comfort zone and into the refining process, a new posture being revealed by the Holy Spirit. 

This is an invitation to surrender your needs for control, perfection, or performance. 

But first, what do I mean by posture? Well, it’s not standing up straight or some kind of ergonomically designed way to sit at your desk. Posture is defined as both a noun and a verb. The noun reflects how you carry your body (standing, sitting, walking). 

At a deeper level, the way you carry yourself reflects your mindset and the condition of your heart. Are you confident in your identity or insecure? Is life happening to you, or do you see the challenges in front of you to be character-building? Are you grasping for control, or consciously choosing to surrender to God’s will for your life? As a verb, posture refers to taking action on your mindset and the condition of your heart. In other words, your perspective, your way of thinking, and your frame of reference on life.

God Can Use You. But It Often Requires Surrender 

Take a moment to reflect on your current mindset. How do you see the world, and does that perspective align with what the Bible tells us about God’s perspective? As we begin to reset our heart postures, we will most likely have to choose differently, to surrender to God’s plan, and to allow Him to change the way we think. 

I call it open heart, open arms, open hands. 

So what does that look like?

Open Heart

An open heart represents vulnerability, trust, and transparency. As opposed to a closed heart (a heart with walls), an open heart allows love to come in and flow out. 

A closed heart keeps us from receiving compassion and grace, and from giving it. An open heart allows the Holy Spirit to work in us, grow us, and expand us. The heart is where love lives, the place where “Christ may make His home in your hearts as you trust in Him” (Ephesians 3:17). Maintaining an open heart is an act of obedience. It allows us to be in flow and alignment with God as He has given us love not only for us, but also so that we can be love to others. In Romans, we are reminded that “We know how dearly God loves us because He has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love” (Romans 5:5 NLT). The heart is the gateway. If the gateway is open, He can work in and through us. God can use you. And He wants to. He’s faithful like that.

Open Arms

Open arms represent both power and grace. I love to use the story of the prodigal son to illustrate this concept. The son returns home after wandering off (a long way off!) the path that was intended for his life, and his father was there to welcome him back home with open arms. 

The father had every right to shun his son, disown him, and send him packing. But despite all the mess and the failings of his son, the father welcomes him back with powerful grace. Walking in our calling will bring challenges and demands to be bold. We will need to set boundaries, speak against what is wrong, and challenge the people we encounter. Standing in powerful grace is a requirement. Embracing grace with open arms is a way to be reflections of our loving Father, who has grace for us, who is with and in us, and who can use us. Open arms are a symbol of choosing to be who He says we are. 

Open Hands

Open hands allow us to receive and also require us to let go. To receive what God has provided for us and to let go of control. 

Having open hands often looks like surrendering our plans, hopes, and dreams. And also surrendering our attachments to achievement, busyness, and external validation. But open hands also represent an invitation to take courage – not manufacture it ourselves, but take what is freely and abundantly offered to us. Surrendering and taking courage leave us in a position to receive, a position of availability. We can actively let go of making plans and holding on to who the world says we are. And that means we can hold outcomes and plans loosely, pivot easily, and stay free to be and do what we are called to next. This flexibility allows God to use you in incredible ways.

This posture is a practice – stand up, open your arms wide, stretch your fingers, lift your chest slightly, and breathe. Invite Him in. Invite the Holy Spirit to change the way you think, to help you detach from the draws of the world and instead find your hope and affirmation in Him. Ask Him to help you become and remain rooted. That’s the final piece – feel the ground under your feet. 

Colossians 2:6-7(NLT)  says, “And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him. Let your roots grow down into Him, and let your lives be built on Him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.”  That’s a pretty awesome promise. 

Let’s See How God Can Use You!

Follow Jesus, root into Him, build your foundation on Him. And then you’ll have an abundance of thankfulness.  

Open heart, open arms, and open hands is a posture where God can flow through you and use you as a conduit for what He wants to accomplish through you. You can’t be angry, weak, selfish, or closed off in this posture. There may be attacks from the side as you journey, but you are held, guided, protected, strengthened, and supported. When you walk behind the Lord in a posture representative of His power, grace, and love, you are in a position to do what He calls you to next.

About Juli

Juli Wenger is a Certified and Internationally Credentialled Coach, Human Ecologist, Speaker, Podcaster, Certified Breathwork Facilitator, and student of the Enneagram. She is devoted to guiding both Jesus-followers and the spiritually curious through their journeys to the paths that God has laid out for them. 

In 2020, God called her to go on her own journey, leaving behind a successful 10-year real estate career to follow the path He had for her. Along the way, a passion for understanding who and whose we are, what our purpose is, and stepping into life with fearless confidence was born. 

As Juli discovered, when we understand these things, we can leave behind our battles with not-enoughness and too-muchness, ditch fear, and create a more loving, just, and compassion-filled world. Juli blends her training and experience to walk you through the same life-transforming process that God brought her through and that she has guided clients and audiences through.

You can reach Juli at: 

Instagram: @juliwenger @becomingourselvespodcast

Facebook: @julimwenger @firedupfulfilledfree @becomingourselvespodcast

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— by William Norvell

“Our soul is like an inner stream of water, which gives strength, direction, and harmony to every other element of our life.”

— Dallas Willard, Renovation of the Heart

Let’s Define Mental Wellness 

According to the Global Wellness Institute, when we talk about mental wellness, we are focusing not just on our mental or cognitive functioning but also on our emotions; our social relationships; our ability to function in daily life; and even our spiritual, religious, and/or existential state. 

One of the most misunderstood points regarding mental wellness is that the absence of mental illness does not equate to the presence of mental wellness. Simply because someone is not diagnosed with a specific condition does not mean they exhibit mental wellness. Similarly, the absence of disease in the body does not equate to a healthy body. 

It’s hard to open up a newspaper or turn on your phone without seeing a report on the mental-illness crisis in the world, but I think that is only part of the problem, and we need to focus on the bigger mental-wellness issue. 

We need to find resources for those in crisis, yes, but we also need to focus on everyone up and down the spectrum—from crisis to health. This is mainly because, for most people, life is lived on a continuum—moving from crisis to health and every spot in between. 

As Christians, we are uniquely equipped to understand the human condition because Jesus is the Author of that condition. For this reason, I think the pursuit of mental-wellness solutions is a call that all Christians should answer loudly, as it will be the defining pandemic of our time. 

People are often scared to admit that we are in the midst of a mental wellness pandemic. Why don’t we admit it? It is partly because of fear and partly because of misunderstanding and stigma. I have been calling it the Unspoken Pandemic and have recently dedicated most of my waking hours to working on a solution.  

We must strive to help people understand that it’s who they become that matters, not what they do. We are all being formed—intentionally or unintentionally—each moment of each day, but we must understand that in order to flourish and bring flourishing to the communities to which we are called. 

The Greatest Commandment Commands a Pursuit of Mental Wellness 

In the Gospel of Matthew, the responsibility of the Christian life is summed up beautifully by none other than Jesus:  

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” – Matthew 22:36-40 

I have heard this command so many times in so many situations, but it was not until recently that I read this in light of the mental wellness pandemic. When you really look deeply into this command, it is a command to pursue mental wellness and then love God and others out of that place of wellness. 

If we are lacking mental wellness, how could we possibly attempt to live out this command? In my own life, I have never once thought that my ability to love God and others is correlated to my mental wellness. Increasingly, I’m trying to see that everything should be an instrument to make this possibility a reality… and then love can flow freely. 

Contributing Factors to the Crisis 

While there are many contributing factors to this crisis, I do see a few factors rise above the rest. 

Home/Work Life Merged

People have historically been able to easily separate their home lives from their work lives and look to integrate them into a holistic vision of what they are called to. However, with the advances of technology and the “always on” culture, holistic calling no longer exists, and people have no idea how to integrate (or separate) their home/work lives.  

Community Dissipated

Prior to the last few decades, people found themselves part of communities that gave them belonging and safe places to discuss and process life. Neighbors, shop owners, local run-ins—these opportunities have all shrunk, leading to a bottling up of emotions and thoughts. Remote work has also caused many professionals to feel disconnected from community. Increasingly, there is not enough time and space to form deep friendships that lead to deep soul-changing conversations.   

Note, meaningful communities are spaces I feel that Christians take for granted. Many of us do have a small group or community group or whatever your church calls it. Think of the gift of having 10–15 decently well-intentioned folks come to your house every week to ask how your life is and to offer prayer and support in many ways. Non-Christians routinely have nothing that resembles this construct and are struggling even more than we know. 

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Any Christian who works in the marketplace or is training to work in the marketplace will benefit from Wisdom-Based Business’ practical guidance on how to reflect Christian values in their corporate tasks and strategies – and on how those values can be not hindrances but keys to success.

Excerpt from Wisdom Based Business – Pages 123-124

The Wisdom of Quality

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Cor. 10:31

Interestingly, the Bible has a lot to say about the quality of our work and the value we put on it. In order to provide a quality product, not only must the customer feel like the product’s benefits are greater than the costs, but they should feel as though the benefits of the product far exceed the cost. The definition of customer value is simply objective benefits + perceived benefits > cost. When a product provides customer value, the value perceived by the customer accounts for the product quality, the service quality, and the price of the product. All three of these components must be in sync. A great quality product can provide a customer with a bad experience if delivered with poor service or if the customer doesn’t know the product well and has a bad user experience. Great customer service will be devalued if the product itself doesn’t meet the customers’ expectations. Finally, price is easily a go-to proxy for quality. We assume that more expensive wine is better quality, that the $2 Cadbury chocolate bar is going to taste better than the $.5 Hershey’s chocolate bar. 

 Proverbs 20 alone discusses the valuation of a product 4 times. Not only should we pay what the product is worth (see Prov. 20:14,17), but we should also charge what a product is worth (see Prov. 20:10, 23). Proverbs 20 speaks to how we buy and sell products. We should expect to pay what a product is worth (honoring the person selling us the product) and charge what a product is worth (honoring the person buying a product from us). In both of these scenarios, whether we are selling or buying, Proverbs has a standard of win-win exchange. Neither the supplier nor the customer should loose in a transaction with a wise person. 

Proverbs 20:10 Unequal weights and unequal measures are both alike an abomination to the Lord.

Proverbs 20:14 “Bad, bad,” says the buyer, but when he goes away, then he boasts.

Proverbs 20:17 Bread gained by deceit is sweet to a man, but afterward, his mouth will be full of gravel.

Proverbs 20:23 Unequal weights are an abomination to the  Lord, and  false scales are not good.

This seems like fairly straightforward common sense on paper. However, unequal weights and false scales may be one of the practices I have seen play out most consistently in Christian and secular spaces. Many of my friends in the church have worked in real-estate over the years. A friend who was a successful agent, inevitably sold houses to people in the community as well as people in our local church community. Many times church friends would negotiate the price of a house they were purchasing so low, that it was clear the seller was going to lose out on the deal. In some cases, this is reasonable and there could be a logical argument for it. However, the testimony to the seller was that the Christian buyer did not care whether they benefitted from an exchange with them at all. The Christian buyer would go away and praise God for a deal they felt was blessed, while the non-Christian went away feeling cheated. This is a simple principle in Proverbs that I don’t ever think I have heard preached: 

Pro 3:27-28 Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due when it is in your power to do it.

There is a key phrase in this verse, whenever it is in your power to do it. In our western mentality of inalienable rights and individual property rights, we get lured into thinking everything we earn belongs to us… because we earned it. However, this is not a kingdom principle. It is a cultural principle in the USA. In 1 Cor. 10:26 Paul quotes Psalms 24:1 when he states, 

Psalm 24:1 The earth is the LORD’S, and all it contains, the world, and those who dwell in it.

All that we have is God’s and all that we do and say is commanded to communicate his love and demonstrate his will. There is no better way to reflect the love of Jesus than to lay down our own, hard-earned resources for the blessing of others. Our right to what is ours was not a right that Jesus claimed for himself. He had earned the favor of God and the throne he sat on in heaven. He was perfection, yet he laid it down and freely gave us a righteousness that we did not deserve and definitely had not earned. 

Perhaps the reward of blessings as wealth for the righteous is somewhat misunderstood, thus, it is important to keep reflecting on Prov. 3:27b, when it is in your power to do it. This does not mean that you buy products or property at a loss. However, I do strongly believe that it means if you have a profit margin, you have a margin to be a blessing. If there is enough margin between your revenue (the price of the product) and cost (what you paid for the product + cost of logistics), then there is a margin to be a blessing to others…

Jesus challenged the disciples and the Pharisees to live the kind of life where the quality of what they gave to others was not measured by the value of the other person to them. Jesus calls us to love others extravagantly in what we say and do.

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— by Jerry Meek

Peter Drucker once said, “There is no success without a successor.” 

 

So many businesses don’t have a successor, but it’s arguably one of the most important things any business leader can plan. I am blessed to say that my son, Jeremy, is more than just a successor. He is a faithful, qualified, and committed business partner at Desert Star Construction (DSC), and the two of us have been on a healthy journey of leading together. 

DSC was born out of the carpentry business started when I partnered with my dad at 19 years old. Instead of competing with each other, we completed each other. Having the right person as a business partner made all the difference. We worked long hours and remained focused on doing our best daily. This small carpentry business grew into a general contracting business that builds large estate homes for the wealthiest people in the world.

 

Since DSC has been a family business for three generations, I often hear the question, “How can you navigate a family and business relationship without problems?” 

Regardless of the size of your business, it’s possible to work well with a family business partner if you prioritize clear communication and a humble, Christ-like relationship. Here’s what I’ve learned over the years.

My Four Core Values for Working with a Family Business Partner

I believe that trust, communication, desire, and humility are everything when looking for the right business partner (family business partner or not) and are the main components that have led to the success of our partnership.

 

Trust

Trust must be the foundation of any partnership, especially when it comes to business partnerships with your family members.

Ultimately, trust has been at the foundation of our relationship. I had to trust Jeremy enough to believe he was the right business partner. I also had to trust him enough to let go of control and continue passing him responsibilities in our business. At one point, I had to get four surgeries around the same time, resulting in a three-month recovery period. Because of the trust that Jeremy had earned, he fearlessly led the entire time I was away. When I heard about how well the projects were going and how the team was on top of all of their projects, I recognized that my stepping away allowed Jeremy to lead more confidently.

Since then, I’ve set a clearly-stated boundary of trust. I know I don’t need to be a part of every team meeting but only part of the meetings where I can add value. It’s important to me that both Jeremy and the team know that I trust Jeremy enough to lead. We regularly talk about healthy boundaries and which meetings I should and shouldn’t be a part of. 

 

Communication

We’ve prioritized hard, uncomfortable conversations since the beginning of our family business partnership.

Before my son and I ever began to lead together, we charted a plan for what the business transition would look like. We talked through our differences, perceived nepotism, the tension of finances, and anything else that would be difficult to discuss before moving forward.

We continue to have necessary conversations through our monthly “legacy meetings,” where we only talk business, not family. These meetings have been a pivotal part of our success as family business partners because they allow us intentional time for essential training, difficult conversations, and continued succession planning. If work gets brought up during family time, we bookmark it and save it for the next “legacy” meeting.

 

Desire

We work well together because both of our hearts are in it.

When looking for a business partner, especially someone in your family, make sure they share the same passion and have the skill set to do the job with excellence. We never forced Jeremy to take over; he wanted to. He pursued multiple degrees that gave him the knowledge and experience he needed to work within our business and lead it to the next level.

I also think it’s essential to make sure you are choosing a family business partner you enjoy being around and having fun with. We spend so much of our time at work, it must be enjoyable.

Choose a partner or family member whose heart is in the business, and if you know you can’t have fun with them, I’d urge you to rethink your decision.

 

Humility

We view our partnership as two servants coming together to serve one another.

I want Jeremy to succeed more than ever before, and I want him to avoid the speed bumps I had to face on my journey. As faithful servants, we share our inheritance and don’t ignore the team members who aren’t blood. We make a place for them.

When we recognize that this business is not ours but God’s, we show up and steward it differently. We open every legacy meeting in prayer and don’t simply delegate to people; we develop people.

Are You Struggling to Work Well with a Family Business Partner? Here are Next Steps

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